
A Tribute To Eva Cole
A Tribute To Eva Cole..By Alex Bierlein
Naturally, as a 16 year old I had a tendency to sleep in as late as possible during the summer months, but on this particular morning, with the sunrise as a new beacon, I was up and getting ready. It was 6am; I had just finished my sophomore year in high school, and had gotten my license only months before. The day before I had promised myself that whenever I woke up that next morning I would go up to the hospital to see my Grandma, Eva, who was in a coma at Bronson Hospital from complications of cancer . It had been made clear to our family that it was only a matter of time before Grandma Cole would pass but there wasn’t a specific time table on when this would happen. So on that summer morning without an alarm clock, I awoke at 6:02am and got myself ready…
A couple of years prior Grandma had been diagnosed with breast cancer. As a teenager I wasn’t given much information as to the seriousness, type of cancer, or procedures she would have to go through in the coming months. Looking back, I probably didn’t ask enough questions as I was embroiled in my self-centered teenage world and left myself out of the loop.
What I do remember from this time is that we spent a fair amount of time going up to the hospital, which made Grandma happy and a little uncomfortable all at once. It was easy to tell that she didn’t want to be there but she knew that it was something she had to do. Her platinum hair was more ragged than usual and she had little energy. The 2nd part was particular disconcerting because she always filled the room with her magnetic presence and everyone always liked her right away. She didn’t want us to feel bad for her though, because every time we would enter that terrifying white room her eyes would brighten, and she would ask us a bunch of questions about what was going on in our lives like she always did.
After her single mastectomy, she was feeling better and for all intents and purposes she was cancer free. She returned home and I would try to visit them regularly and play rummy or cribbage with her and Grandpa. During those times Grandma Cole was herself, and because I was getting older I felt that she started to become more open with me than she had been in the past. From all accounts she was a very blunt person who wasn’t afraid of speaking her mind and letting people know how she felt about what was happening in their lives. As a child, I didn’t see this in her as much, but in her last year with us I caught a glimpse into the dynamic person that she was: she was a painter, volunteered for many years with troubled youth, made clothes, was a “Rosie the Riveter” during WWII, was always accepting of different lifestyles, and made one hell of a French onion dip, generically named “Grandma’s Dip.” As one of my grandparent’s friends said one day, “Eva was a Class A woman, I never heard a negative word about her.” His words were true.
A couple of years went by and there were no signs of the cancer returning until December of 1996. She was starting to get dizzy spells and at one point she actually passed out at home in the middle of the day. This prompted my grandpa to take her to the hospital to see what was going on, and what they found was surprising to the doctors as well as to our family; she had multi myeloma, a different type of cancer from breast cancer that were not related. To be diagnosed with 2 different types of cancer so close together was abnormal and certainly deflating for grandma and our family. Although people with multi myeloma can often live for many years with the disease, this was not the case for my Grandma, Eva Cole.
Back to the morning that I had gotten up early to go down to the hospital…
It was July 3rd, 1997, and I was the first one to show up that morning. I was sure that my Grandpa would be there very soon. They had been married for over 50 years and were the quintessential couple. They met when one of Grandpa’s friends invited him on a double date with his girlfriend and her sister, a farm girl from Dryden, MI. After that first date it was all over for my Grandpa, he had found the woman he was going to spend the rest of his life with, a dark-haired girl named Eva. He drove back and forth from Detroit to Dryden to see her frequently and they married shortly thereafter. He went to WWII and she waited for him. When he returned they started their life together; they had three children, moved to Portage, MI, built a large network of friends with whom they partied with frequently, and lived a life of laughter and true companionship. My Grandpa always said the most heated arguments were marked by a momentary rising of their voices, a couple of slammed cupboard doors, and his trip to the basement. They were always on the same page, and now she was here lying before me.
She was in a coma due to a brain hemorrhage that was the result of the myeloma. That morning she looked very peaceful. Although it sounds cliché, she truly looked as though she was just resting and that she could wake up at any time. I was with her for 15 minutes and other than some beeping machines and a constant whirring sound, we sat in silence while I held her hand. When it was time to leave I made sure to tell her goodbye and that I loved her. This was the last time I saw my Grandma Cole.
It was 30 minutes after I arrived back home that morning when I got the call from my Mom telling me that Grandma had passed away at 8am. My Grandpa and Uncle Ralph showed up at the hospital that morning shortly after I left, and she hung on for a few minutes more before passing on. She was 72 years old and to this day it still feels like she was taken much too early. Since then I have had surreal moments of feeling her presence around me; like the time I walked into a bathroom and the candle burning smelled exactly like her. Or, when I had a dream that I was having lunch with her and it felt so real that when I awoke, for the first 30 seconds or so, I thought she was still alive. Her effect on me and others around her cannot be measured, but her legacy is in the things from her that we carry around with us in our heads and our hearts as we move through everyday life.
I’m not sure why I woke up at 6am on that particular summer day, but I feel lucky everyday that I did, and that I got to say goodbye.
About Alex…
Alex Bierlein is Employee Service Representative/Trainer for Consumers Credit Union. He assists employees to better serve our members by answering employee member service questions and designing training programs to make our service team even stronger. He’s also a believer in effective communication, using work and life experiences to encourage the people around him to be their best. Alex is a contributing writer for the credit union’s blog and has written many short stories.
Learn more about the fight against cancer: http://www.cancer.org/index
Join the Consumers Relay team:
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Relay For Life Of Kalamazoo County
June 9-10, 2012
10am at Kalamazoo County Fairgrounds
Relay For Life Of Van Buren County
June 9-10, 2012
10am at Bangor High School
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Relay For Life Holland/Zeeland:
June 15-16, 2012
2pm-2pm at West Ottawa School
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Relay For Life Of Branch County (Coldwater):
June 22 & 23, 2012
Noon-Noon at Heritage Park
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